An Unwelcome Forever
by Passion4words
Summary: Ridden with self-doubt,abusive parents and a terrible past,17 year old Becca struggles through life with the help of Daniela. What happened when she wakes up, as a runaway in a strangers house, only to kill her best friend. During the middle of Eclipse
1. An Old life Replayed

_**Chapter 1-**_ An Old Life Replayed

I'd never thought of myself as anything special, never strived to prove myself as something more. That's all I've ever been; myself. Now as I gazed at myself in the water I could no longer see what I used to be. My humanity had vanished along with every human trait that used to reside. Some things I wouldn't miss; my klutz-like tendencies, embarrassing situations I was the star in and such. Then there were the simple things I would forever hate myself for not enjoying. Sleep was much missed in my case. The ability to melt away into blissful unconsciousness was something I craved daily. And food; Blood was never a proper alternative in my opinion. It never tasted as good as it should have; not after….after Daniela.

_**I was curled up on the basement floor, unable to feel the prickling cold that should have been spreading on my skin. The only sounds around me were the gentle drip of water from the pipes and the scurry of spiders around the dark room. Oddly enough I was able to see everything just fine, if not better than when I had passed out. Or maybe unconsciousness was judged by the inability to think, rather than the atrocious pain I had gone through for days. After that experience I would say they both qualify.  
Aside from the bright colors and attuned senses I felt nothing different. Except a burning sensation in my throat? Well I was parched, that was to be expected. Oddly enough I didn't feel hungry but my thirst was starting to get very painful and my throat felt scratchy and dry. I pushed myself off the ground but there was a sudden crunch as concrete buckled under my touch. I looked to where my hand was. A hand print had formed in the small pile of broken concrete. My hand prints to be exact. I was sure I should have wobbled back, stunned but I gracefully took a few steps back and found myself at the back wall of the basement, the opposite of where I had been a second ago.**_

_**Was it me or had I just blurred as I moved, as if I had walked superfast? I shook my head; my thirst was making me delirious. Even so, I took small, sure steps toward the unfamiliar staircase. Did I mention everything was unfamiliar here, in a house that wasn't mine? I could smell nothing which was odd; this abandoned house smelled like rotting wood and decaying animals why should that change now? Now an odd itchy feeling was spreading on the roof of my mouth. Then I realized…I wasn't breathing. Hurriedly I inhaled and exhaled several times until my breathing increased to normal. I ran to the sink, not caring about the gray water and splashed myself in the face many times. I must be sick.**_

_**My realization didn't matter; a runaway couldn't go into a doctor's office for a checkup. I would have to fend for myself, steal some Tylenol or something from an unsuspecting household. I would be fine. My hands groped over where my scar should have been the one that ran from my eye to my chin; an old reminder of my abusive mother. There was nothing but smooth skin. I felt the other cheek. It too was clear of marks and it seemed pimples too. Had puberty suddenly finished with me?**_

__

_**I started panicking. I didn't feel sick or wrong just different. That's what scared me. I tried remembering any earlier feeling's of illness from the days before. I could vaguely remember stealing some food the other day, but from where? And hadn't someone visited weeks ago? But who? My lack of memory was terrifying. I had no sense of what I had done or who I had seen recently. Did I fall, maybe hurt my head? That would explain things perfectly but that would also mean I would definitely have to see a Doctor. Maybe Daniela could help me?**_

_**Daniela, who was Daniela? Her name had just floated in my brain but it seemed to mean something. I felt a rush of gratitude, loyalty and love towards the name. No, not a name, a girl. My best friend. My memories of her at least did not escape me which was more than I could say of even my parents. My mother used to beat me as far as I could remember, and my father was never home. I felt emptiness at the thought of them. Siblings, no I had none but that fact did nothing to shadow the rush of loneliness I felt at that thought. Daniela had only been able to come over so many times, a sibling would have been welcome in my life.**_

_**I stood up properly and walked away from the sink, almost knocking down the tin cans behind me. A large collection of litter shattered to the floor as I turned the other way, I jumped at the ferocity that the sound engulfed me in. Was it ever that loud? The burning scorched my dry throat and I opened a small cupboard to grab a water bottle. With shaky hands I tried to open it, instead my hands broke it apart and water came spilling out of the top. I threw my head back and swallowed as much water as I could. The burning intensified instead of diminishing and I spit all the water onto the filthy kitchen floor. It had tasted disgusting, revolting to say the least and had done nothing to quench my thirst. I slumped down onto the floor, cracking some of the tiles and cried. Something was wrong with me, and that inevitable thought brought along an anguished sob. No tears seemed able to escape my eyes which confused me even more. I needed to know what was happening, and I needed a family to help me through it.**_

She had been my best friend, my sister when I was in need of family. She hid me on days when my mother grew too drunk and father too violent. She never told anyone about my parents. We both agreed Child services were not an option.

I got up and splashed through the water causing my face to vanish. How I hated that face, my beautiful flawless face. It just showed how inhuman I had become, I hated every inch of it. This was the face that had killed Daniela.

_**I don't remember how long I sat there and cried tearlessly but the sun rose and set before I heard a sound. It was far, far beyond the house's walls but my ears somehow heard it. I was filled with hope so I did not bother to try to understand how I could hear such distances.**_

"_**Becca are you there? Please, please be there!" Someone was whispering by the front gate she seemed to be whispering to herself rather than me. "The police are coming by here today; I need to get you somewhere else."**_

__

_**Police, they were something to fear I gathered. Letting memories flow I remembered the uniformed people intent on finding me and returning me to my home. No, that place was no longer my home. When I had left through my back window I had banished any thoughts of home forever.**_

_**I jumped up, being careful to balance my weight, so the tiles only groaned instead of breaking. I walked as fast as I could towards the kitchen door. I had stopped breathing again, but something stirred behind the uncomfortable lack of oxygen. A craving? A want? I had no idea what it was but I was too excited. There she was, Daniela. Waiting at the door in her white parka, her long black hair stood everywhere and I gathered it was a snowstorm outside. It occurred to me then that I wasn't cold in my shorts and T-shirt but this too I ignored. Her eyes were alight with joy and she was bouncing up and down in excitement. It had been what, two, three weeks since we last saw each other. You would have thought she was six, not sixteen the way she was acting.**_

_**I was still in the kitchen, as I took this all in so I walked forward to open the door I kept locked. She had a bag, of food for me I guessed but what happened next I would have never guessed would happen.**_

How could I have done that? Torn her blood from her body and sucked her dry like an animal. I was a vegetarian in my human life; was I a cannibal now?

_**Her blood was warm and pulsing, I could hear it. I breathed deeply and her scent hit me like a wrecking ball. She was no longer Daniela, my best friend. She was an animal, my prey and I was a predator. I ran forward dragging my feet through the floor with a crash. A slight glance in the side mirror told me later that I looked wild, crazy but then I didn't care. Her eyes now filled with uncertainty she took a step back.**_

"_**Becca, what's wrong? Are you sick, do you need help?" She was worried, and scared. That would make her blood all the more enjoyable. I didn't answer I just grabbed her and spun her like we were dancing. Then my teeth made contact with her neck.**_

_**She had screamed, over and over loud enough to awake the neighbors who were still minutes' walk from here. I heard nothing then, except for the rush of her blood as it entered my mouth. It was delicious, better than anything I've ever tasted! My brain was wild, my thought's whirling. I couldn't stop, I didn't want to. Her blood was hot and rich filled with an unexpected sweetness. There was no way I could compare it; neither it to food, nor anything in my life I ever tasted. Pleasure exploded in my body as I felt her body go limp and her screams stop. There was still blood left but it was getting cool, I must drink it fast before its cold.**_

_**Soon I had to force the blood out, it became elusive. In the back of my head I realized I had almost sucked her dry. Only when I had finished did I realize what I had done.**_

That day I had killed the only person in the world who had truly cared about me. I had tortured her with pain and in the end she had floated off to the waiting arms of death. I barely registered her death then; sirens had started a block away heading in my direction. I left her body and ran. Through 

the bricks, through trees outside till I was deep in the forest. The sun never touched me but the shadows wrapped themselves deeply near me. The trees became my safe haven. This all happened four months ago. The memories were as clear as if it had happened right now. Every day was a constant torture for me.

I tried to run but for vampire it was pitiful. Four months I had gone with no blood. Neither animal nor human had come near me and I had forced myself to stay in the exact spot where I had run that night. No one had found me, hopefully they all stopped looking. I was weak and could barely lift myself off the ground sometimes. I was hoping I would die.

Little did I know, vampires could not die that easily. From what I gathered out of books and movies, sun could kill me. I was far too weak to run to sunlight and no light ever penetrated the trees roof. I had even gotten so frail I could not lift or break the tree like I could the concrete. It was a pitiful existence and I wished every second that it would end.


	2. A not so person, person

_**Chapter 2-**_A not so person, person

After an hour I no longer had the ability to run. My legs buckled underneath me, something they had not done since I was human. Even so, I seemed to fall with a beautiful grace.

I didn't bother to wipe the dark dirt off my face as I sat up and I barely processed the fact that I had run farther from…that place then I had ever run. I also realized that I could see the sun.

Sun. Three or four trees had broken and fallen over letting in the bright warmness that was light, something I had not seen in this dreary and black place before. The sun seemed to sparkle as it fell on small patches of moss causing the dew to glitter. I was sure I noticed this because of my observant gaze rather than some more complicated explanation but in truth I knew my enhanced vision was the cause. But no matter, why was I paying attention to such trivial things like this? Was it because death was staring me in the face, was I trying to get my last glimpses of this world before I entered over to the next?

I shook my head trying to clear the endless chatter of a thousand thoughts. I focused only on the sunlight. The sun could kill me, slowly and painfully but it could end my pitiful existence, maybe bring me more joy than life ever had. Death was no longer a fear, it was a temptation.

My body seemed to ache at the thought of moving those few feet. _You can do it._ I told myself,_ soon it will be over._ I jumped at that and slowly I dragged myself closer to the patch of sun. Right before I could put a hand in the sun, I hesitated.

I don't know why. I was probably already thought dead by my relatives (I no longer thought of them as family) and anyone who would have thought differently about my death. Then a miraculous thought came to mind. _What if, wherever I ended up after this, Daniela was there?_ This time I didn't stop, I didn't hesitate. I threw myself with all my existing energy into the sun.

It didn't hurt when I hit the ground, it never did but still I had closed my eyes in brace for the impact. Clearly I heard my fall and its sound reverberating in the darkness and echoing off trees and plants.  
The few birds and animals that were nearby ceased their relentless chatter, I heard most of them scatter away or hide and I felt more alone then I ever had.

After a few seconds I felt calming warmth spread over my skin. It creeped dutifully on my pores and I longed to soak it up like this; but rationality won me over. I was dying but in a much more pleasant way than I had thought. I prepared to open my eyes, and see my surely deterierting body before it was no more.

I opened my eyes to find I had turned my head to the side where I could see the dark, dead trees strangling one another for space. I tried to pull my gaze away but cowardly I turned even farther, seemingly mesmerized by the dainty weeds sprouting through the ground. _Ok Becca, turn around this time. 1, 2…3!_

I had expected bones, maybe blood but nothing prepared me for what was happening.

Death was an excellent choice. Not only was it painless but beautiful! My skin that was not covered in the remains of my clothes was shimmering and dancing like diamonds as the light was thrown upon it. It seemed like the warmth was continuing to rid my skins unusual coldness. I basked in the sun, throwing my arms wide open when I heard an odd sound. My throat seemed to be vibrating and out of my mouth came a scratchy noise barely detectable as a laugh.

I hadn't laughed in months, and talking to myself occasionally didn't really count as conversation, so I was totally unfamiliar with the tinkling, pleasant noise I was making. I didn't dwell on that I only lay there in my happy contentment waiting to fall into death's arms.

Hours later I opened my eyes to an unexpected sound. I was disappointed to see that the sun was no longer in the sky, and fading quickly. I was still not dead.

In my aniguish I focused on that sound, the unusual rustling of the grass and crouched low, ready. Somewhere in my mind I realized the irrationality of my behavior but all I could think of was how close I had come to death and how that sound had somehow interfered.

It seemed to quiet suddenly and by the scent it was nearer than before. Whatever this was, it was fast and I would have to be wary. I still ached with lack of blood and this apprehension was making me more uncomfortable. The stinging rush of venom pooled at the back of my mouth and I swallowed, praying I would be able to resist if it was a human. I was weak, but blood was no longer a top priority for me, I should be fine.

Then with no more than an echo of sound bouncing of a twig a tall human jumped at me landing squarely on my back. Shocked I bucked like an animal but strong hands grabbed my hand and used them to swing off me and the figure landed squarely on the ground a few feet in front of me. I didn't hesitate as I charged forward as fast as I could. With a blur the not-so-human, human moved quickly to the right and I almost threw myself into a bush. Then it was silent as I took many, unneeded breaths of air and the human/creature/man studied me. After what seemed long but was more likely a few seconds he spoke.

"Your weak and very slow, lack of blood am I correct?" His voice was laced with curiosity.

I kept my face a mask trying to disguise my shock, but I kept my eyes trained on his losing myself in their unusual topaz color.

"Where is your hunting range?" He tried again. He seemed merely curious but I could tell he needed this information for some unknown reason. I decided to reply but give him as little information as possible.

"I don't hunt." I said as bluntly as I could.

He laughed and to me it reminded myself of the sweet twinkling giggles that had escaped me a few hours ago.

He stopped suddenly and took a look at my ruined state. He must have seen my crimson eyes, most likely wild and untamed as I had seen in the water many times. Auburn tresses, knotted and filthily together and framed my face, smeared and blemished with soil. Eyes and cheeks sunken as I guessed the lack of food (and blood) had done. He must think I'm a madwoman.

"You don't hunt at all? No animal? Clearly you don't drink human though your eyes are still red from the change…" I perked instantly at the word 'change'. I knew something had happened to me but whenever I grasped at the details all I could remember was a small, kind face dripping with longing and lots and lots of pain.

And what had he said about hunting? The man had talked like we were discussing weather, not the murdering of people's and animals lives for sustenance. Was this normal?

"Am…am I supposed to?" My musical voice cracking near the end.

This caused his face to soften slightly and his feral stance shrugged into just a standing position.

"Yes, it is; for us. Tell me, do you know what you are?"

"I'm…I'm a monster." I answered in a saddened tone, surprising myself by voicing what I had been hating myself for these past months.

"To some maybe, but truly you are a vampire. Did you not consider that, after feeling the temptation of blood, the _need_ of it?"

This time I was ready and a steady flow of words streamed from my mouth.

"Yes, but I no longer believe such things. The Sun won't kill me."

His brow crinkled in both sadness and amusement. "That is one of the many superstitions' of vampire's. Little can kill us, usually just pulling apart and burning the pieces of our bodies, which another vampire would have to do. But tell me why, why do you want to die?"

Such an honest question, normal to hear after admitting attempted suicide. I didn't answer, but replayed his question in my head many times.

"You said 'us', surely you're not…" I could only hope. A companion, someone who I wasn't a danger to…No I mustn't let myself hope.

He nodded half heartily but smiled all the same. "Didn't my scent give it away?"

I realized he had the sweet smell that I had and almost hit myself for not observing such before. Prepared to do better I looked him down once more, properly noticing his untidy bronze hair, seemingly messy but incredibly handsome against his chiseled jaw. He was tall but not very well built as far as I could tell not much visible muscle. His skin was pale, just like mine and there was no audible heartbeat.

"You never answered my question" He said "Why do you want to die?"

I don't know why I told him everything. I hadn't seen anyone for four months and the emotions that had been bottles up exploded. Soon he knew my life story from when I was six and first started to get beaten to how Daniela had died. When I finished I was a sobbing, depressed wreck. I had hoped telling someone would make me feel better, to heal my wounds that were scratched deep in my heart, now I just felt worse. Hope was going to destroy me.

The silence was deafening and seemed to reverberate against the trees. Neither of us spoke for a long time. I noticed he had moved beside me and was looking at me in utter astonishment something that curled his features in an unusual but sexy way.

He smiled sadly at me as I thought this and his face portrayed a knowing gaze.

"Don't ever be afraid to hope." He said quietly.

The rest of the night was passed in an utter recollection of his past. He had been a vampire far longer than I had and had suffered from worse than I. I felt shame at the thought of my problems; they felt so big but they were nothing in comparison.

"I wanted to die once too." He said continuing his story. "Do you remember Bella?"

"The girl you left behind after you moved?" I said repeating what he had said many times.

"Yes. I was told she was dead. My life just seconds after that was hopeless, unbearable. I brought myself in front of the Voultri and asked them to kill me."

I stared at him. He had told me of the Volturi, sort of the vampire royalty and their fearsome guard. Still he had not provoked any fear in me; I had no fear of death…or pain. It would be welcome if I could just feel something, **anything**.

"What happened?" I asked, awed.

"She rescued me." He said simply. "I had saved her life many times and she was there to save me when I needed it most. I told her about my lie and that I truly loved her."

He continued to talk about her, their troubles all because of their forbidden love. My heart theoretically (I found out my heart had stopped beating somewhere in the conversation) banged painfully against my chest. Was it so wrong to long for love, something pure and true, after being denied such for so many years?

"It's not." The story seemed to stop and there was a steely determination in his voice. "It's never wrong to love, or to hope."

"What? How?-"I stuttered, my voice lost blindly.

"Becca I have a power….I can read minds."

The shock of this was not because of his 'power' or whatever it was called. It was that this entire conversation he had known exactly what I was thinking, about my life, my future, about _him._

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked. I had been a fool completely trusting him, and he hadn't told me, **he hadn't even told me his name**.

Maybe to anyone else this wouldn't have mattered as much, but my mind was the only thing I had left, that I had any control on. That had been invaded in one moment of trust.

"I wasn't invading; it's not something I can completely control…!"

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I screamed suddenly, leaping up. "LEAVE ME ALONE."

I ran tripping, into trees blindly trying not to let myself break down sobbing. Something so simple and I had to turn it complicated make things worse for myself. Still, I needed something I could control, to have balance over. I was practically shouting in my head as I stumbled through the forest, hoping, no, knowing he was listening. I would no longer let myself hope.

"My name is Edward…" Was the last thing I heard before I was finally out of hearing range.


	3. Blood and Belonging

**Chapter 3-** _Blood and Belonging_

Over the next few days I smelt Edward all around the forest. I was forced to push my endurance past my limit in order to keep away from him. He didn't really seem to be following me, more like checking up on me. I found out why a week later. Passing a fresh trail of his scent I was drawn to the smell of blood. Immediately I tensed but prepared to see what it was; the blood was tempting but it seemed I might be able to control myself.

Pushing past a large group of irritable ferns I found the body of a dead stag. Lying near a small bush its head was twisted at an odd angle showing that it had been killed quickly and suffered little pain. This brought some comfort to me until I detected Edward's smell all around the area and slathered on the animal. He had killed this, but he hadn't bothered to drink it. He wasted a life, for no reason as far as I could see. I seethed quietly, trying to understand why he would do that. Besides his sly trick he 'forgot' to mention, Edward seemed like a good person/vampire not someone who just enjoyed killing. Surely even this animal meant something to him, if he had killed it so painlessly?

A few drops of blood trickled down the creature's pelt, and a pang of longing and of thirst fought with my morals. Then I realized; this animal was dead, I shouldn't waste such a precious opportunity, to feed without killing. The blood was slowly growing colder and I made my decision. If I drank this now I could force myself to wait longer to feed, maybe even then I would stumble on an animal that died naturally.

Without uncertainty I moved closer the stag and lowered my head near its neck. I pressed my teeth to the bristly fur and before I could hesitate blood began to pour out of the wound.

It seemed so natural, instinct really drinking the blood. It didn't seem wrong at all now that I thought about it properly. Surely I could bend the rules of a vegetarian, to keep my sense of humanity and save innocent lives.

After the blood started to dwindle, and I had to suck the few drops out I noticed the taste was rather bitter and very cool leaving me not quite full. This must be what Edward had said about animal blood not being as tasteful as human. Most likely it also depended on the size, for this stag was quite small and weak, it made sense for me to dislike the taste.

It was only when I stood up, that I heard the faintest crackle of paper somewhere on the ground. I shifted my feet and looked down, causing more of the crackly noise. Peering at my shoe's I saw a faint white piece of paper, covered in fancy, flowing calligraphy. I could see it fine standing up, but I sat down and picked it up to properly read it.

_Becca, please don't be angry._

_I know we can't die, from such things as starvation but what you're doing to yourself isn't good. For a vampire, you're a mess, a little blood can't hurt._

_I killed it quickly; maybe it didn't have time to feel pain. It was weak and would have died soon enough. Still, this isn't even close to what you should be drinking regularly; please; __**please**__ reconsider your choice _

_of life. Killing animals is a much better than the alternative. If you keep 'starving' yourself you're going to slip up and someone will probably get hurt._

_Also I want to apologize. I didn't tell you about my talent before, because I was intrigued. Your past, your history, is something that made me sad for you made me want to help you. If I told you earlier, you could have blocked me out and I wouldn't be able to help at all._

_My family and I will be around this area a week from when we met. If you're interested in meeting us write a reply to this note, we'll find you. The others want to help, there's much instinct can't teach a young vampire. _

_If you don't want this that's fine. Rip the note and scatter the pieces, I won't look for you again._

_Edward_

Understanding hit me slowly. Edward was genuinely sorry for what had happened and he wanted to help me. There was no denial, just the sorry truth that was me. I needed help and more importantly…I needed _blood._

But did I want to meet an entire coven of vampires, strangers in my already strange life. They were strong in both number and health and one of them could easily kill me from what I'd heard. Slowly I took the note and shredded it into pieces. I bowed my head sadly; I wasn't going to ruin other's lives in the attempt to fix mine. I am nothing more than a problem and a burden and that's all I'd ever be. The pieces scattered at a slight breeze, all except for one. It stayed on my hand, seemingly clinging to the flesh.

I brushed it away as I walked off at human speed. I didn't need any reminders of what I was about to do. I might have decided not to meet the Cullen's, but I was going to take some of Edward's advice.

There was a burrow of rabbit's about a kilometer from where I was, providing me with an easy target to practice hunting on. My throat ached with desire and the promise of more blood. I was eager to test my abilities.

With a burst of much missed speed I ran through the forest arriving close to the warren in a few seconds. Not giving myself time to be surprised I stood as still as the leafy trees next to me and waited. Across from me a heavily shrouded hole in the ground rang with the soft patter of feet and sang of the fresh scent of blood. It seemed four bunnies resided in the hole, the mother seemly out for the day doing whatever rabbits did.

I waited patiently. Eventually, two soft, pink noses peered out of the hole. Three of the rabbits, blindly crawled out, the fourth staying safely behind. I watched them carefully. The one closest to me was sniffing a small cluster of dead berries curiously. I noted that its heartbeat was fainter than the others 

and was visibly smaller. Bones poked out awkwardly at its side and it started wheezing suddenly as if it were sick. The other two hopped around, playfully nipping each other and looking almost twice the size of the third.

I knew which one was to provide itself best, the large male with the bright eyes and twitching whiskers. But that animal had a promising life ahead of it, there was no way I could take it away to sustain me. The other sickly one however, had little chance of surviving for another month. I could hear the rattling of its tiny lungs as it breathed. An infection like that needed antibiotics to be cured. So this was to be my prey.

Venom dripped around my mouth and I focused myself on the rabbit. A sharp ache melted my resolve and I sprung forward.

The struggle it put up was quickly silenced as I twisted the neck. I was keeping as much humanity as I could, not letting it suffer. Out of the corner of my eye the two bunnies were white blurs as they sped back toward their warren, not knowing that I had all I needed.

Plunging my head forward I sank my teeth into the flesh, relishing the warm liquid sloshing around. I winced as I tasted proof of the infection, a taste and smell that made my nose cringe; somewhat of a bland, plain drink, rather than the warm, sweet I preferred. Ignoring it I continued drinking not letting more than a few drops of blood fall to the ground. This life would not be wasted, and its life would go to a better place.

Seconds later I felt revitalized and exhilarated. I could live like this, killing the sick and the weak and I could learn to like the taste. There was much resolve in that plan than what Edward had told me of. Eating animals vs. humans but with a thrill to the hunt. Killing could never make me feel as his brother Emmett and he seemed to. Pain to others has never been high on my likes list.

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It was seven days later and I barely felt the lust for blood. The two animals had sustained me enough that I could run immense distances once more. My speed seemed limitless, as if I could run faster each time.

My mind and body took pleasure in whirling through the air, almost flying it seemed. The blurring landscape provided me with a constant abstract to admire; the greens mixed with puddles of teal and graying mountains in the distance. I knew the landscape by heart, every rock was stored in my memory, a priceless artifact to me after forgetting most of my past (though it seemed for the better since I never had much of a life). I amazed myself at how much differently I could control my senses now. Instead of disorienting I could control how far or close I wanted to look and my head no longer felt like it was spinning. I could smell only what I wanted to but sniff out different plants animals miles away if needed. Without the uncontrollable bloodlust, I became in control of myself.

I ran out of the trees, outside of the forest and at the edge of a lake, something I had only done a few times before. I was still wary to leave my safe haven, not knowing anywhere else to go so I stayed where I was; watching the daylight hit my skin and make me sparkle once more.

I sat down preparing for another quiet day of watching the landscape and listening to the birds but something totally different happened. Instead of a sweet, merry tune the birds usually made, the forest quieted and I could see nothing but bugs in the gloom. An eerie calm had settled, as it did when I had hunted. I leaped up and cautiously edged farther from the trees until my foot backed out into the water.

I flinched but composed myself when I heard a loud, very prominent cough. Someone was here and wanted me to know that. Before I could turn seven blurring figures spread out in a wide circle that was centered on me. My legs tensed, awaiting my brains command to run, but I stayed knowing they would catch me before long. Not that I cared. My survival instincts were taking over but to me it did not matter if I would live or die. Nothing had changed much in these few days, nothing to convince me I still wanted to live.

"Hello again Becca."

I turned nimbly to my right, and came face to face with Edward. I was confused to say the least. He did not look unfriendly, but the circle (that had tightened as I turned around) said something different. I met his gaze and studied his expression.

"Edward…what a surprise." I answered, speaking carefully "I was not expecting you back here. From your note I was under the impression you were not to be bothering me again."

His smile tightened slightly, and he pushed a lock of his messy hair to the side. "That was my promise, I'm afraid my family did not quite agree…"

I turned my head around slowly this time, taking in every face. They had moved even closer but their stance was casual, not at all as if they were territorial as I suspected. Each beautiful, friendly face held the same curious, helpful expression I had not been expecting. This was Edward's coven.

"Of course we wouldn't." A very tall, very muscular vampire yelled, rather than spoke. "We weren't going to leave a little squirt out here alone." He took a step forward making the circle more of a cluster now. "I'm Emmett, the looks of the family."

A loud snort came from the tiny, pixie-like girl. "We like to think of him as more of the brawn, definitely not as 'the looks'. I'm Alice by the way; Edward's told us all about you."

I glared at Edward and the little girl in turn. A lithe, blonde male stepped closer to her, staring at me with steely and cautious eyes.

"Jasper…" Another blonde warned. Stepping closer to me than Edward, he had a calm purposeful air to him and stopped only a few feet from me.

"Becca? My name is Carlisle Cullen. This is my family, I'm sure Edward had mentioned us at some point. We're very excited to meet you."

I noticed that Alice had jumped a little, and was skipping forward dragging along Jasper with her. I took an uncertain step back.

"Please don't run." A timid, mousy looking woman spoke. Her face was framed with lovely caramel locks and her eyes sparkled with worry and what I'm sure was pity. "We just wanted to talk to you. It's unusual for us to meet another like us, so far from civilization."

"Edward's told us all about your past!" Chirped Alice. She said this as if it was a good thing.

"Oh really." I said, trying to keep my voice nonchalant. "You'd think something like that wouldn't be discussed with anyone who happens to ask, do you?"

"Sorry, it's hard to keep secrets in my family, especially since I needed their help;" Edward stared at me squarely and I could see a flicker of sadness in his eyes. "And secrets are not always a good thing."

"Don't feel bad squirt, we want to help you out here. You're not the only one with a bad background. I got mauled by a bear a few years back." Emmett seemed to think his words were helpful.

"Shut up Emmett." Alice said looking at me uncertainly as I cringed, but the damage had already been done. Emmett had voiced what I had said a thousand times in my head. There were others who had it worse than me and they didn't go and try killing themselves, or moping around their whole existence.

"Just trying to help…" he trailed off weakly looking hurt. I felt guilty immediately which must have been plain on my face.

"Don't mind Emmett, he's always been a little melodramatic." A new voice teased. Slinking silently to Emmett's side, I hadn't noticed the gorgeous blonde female until now. She was someone I would have envied a few years back, when I had cared about how I looked…and life in general. Her golden eyes were sparkling oddly and her gaze never seemed to leave mine.

"Aw Rose, admit it, you love my theatrics!" Rosalie (I recognized her name from what Edward had told me) planted a kiss on unsuspecting Emmett and he lost his train of thought.

Trying to disguise it as a cough Jasper loudly said "Get a room." Before ducking behind Alice. She giggled unnaturally loud causing Esme to smile widely and Edward to grin. My face remained expressionless which seemed to dampen the sudden euphoria. No one spoke for a few seconds but everyone was staring at Carlisle as if expecting something.

Frustrated I spoke up hoping for them to leave as suddenly as they had come. "I'm sorry if I am a little upfront, but why exactly are you here?"

More silence. It seemed they hadn't wanted to bring this up until later.

Carlisle spoke first looking both hopeful and nervous. "A few days ago Edward told us about you and you're… situation." I nodded wanting him to continue and leave. "We were wondering if maybe you would be interested in joining us."

I froze mid-thought. They wanted me…to join them? As in, their coven?

"If you're worried, don't be. We are a fairly large family but humans don't suspect anything, one more of us won't make a difference."

"Ya most of them are too stupid to-"Emmett's words were cut off as Jasper whacked him at the back of his head.

"Way to be sensitive Em, is Bella stupid now or something?" He was half joking, half serious but all seriousness faded when Emmett grabbed his arms and flipped him over. A childish wrestling ensued, knocking over two trees and scaring away any remaining animals in seconds.

"Get him Jazz!" Alice shouted excitedly, Rose stood beside her saying nothing but grinning from head to toe.

All attention had diverted from me in moments, something I was grateful for. I needed to think. Unfortunately Edward wasn't thinking along the same lines.

"They all like you, you know. Esme was shaking in excitement as we ran here. Emmett's thrilled, seems having Bella isn't enough for him."

"From what I hear she's pretty quiet, you don't need a handful like me around. I'm nothing but a burden."

"Jazz, _don't!_" Emmett yelled, when Jasper tried to calm him down using his powers. "That's cheating!"

"Is that what you think you are?" Edward said quietly "a burden?"

I nodded too nervous to look him in the eye; I pretended to be watching the fight.

"Becca," he turned my head towards him in one swift movement "You are not a burden, your…someone with a troubled past and an uncertain future. It's wouldn't be a bad thing to come with us. You could come for a few weeks, maybe as a visit? See how you like it, it'd be different."

"A few weeks?" I almost slapped myself, my voice was louder than I expected and filled with longing. Everyone stopped and turned to look at me, expecting an answer.

When I saw this, how they went from carefree to nervous in those few seconds I knew my answer. I couldn't spoil their lives, trying to fit in, always a nuisance. I would _not_ make others suffer from something that happened to me. I would not be a _burden_.

"How can you think that?" At first I thought Edward had spoke again, but this time it was Jasper. He had a fiery look to his eyes and he moved almost angrily towards me.

"You…read minds as well?" I asked, confused.

"No, just emotions, don't change the subject. How could you possibly think of yourself like that? You've had a bad life, that doesn't justify damning yourself for a terrible future!" His voice held so much passion I was stunned. He spoke as if he understood me perfectly. "You are not a burden!"

The words triggered a memory, it felt like someone had let off a gunshot in my head and the people before me drizzled away replacing my vision with a long forgotten memory.

"_You're a foolish child, Rebecca. WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY FOR THIS!" My mother was screaming, a seven year old me, had dropped a can of vegetables. They were now splayed on the red-tiled floor covered in flecks of grime, uneatable._

"_I'm…sorry mom, I-"_

"_SORRY DOSE NOT PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE! THAT'S ALL YOU EVER TAKE UP HERE, FOOD AND MONEY!"_

_I thought of mentioning that all her drinking and smoking couldn't be bringing up funds much, but backed against a corner like I was I wasn't in much of a position to argue. Even now her hand was out seemingly ready to reach out and grab me._

"_I'm…sorry mommy! I didn't mean to." I could feel the tears wet and cool falling down my cheeks._

_A hot, sting of a slap was all that remained of her hand on my head. Immediately my head spun and I grabbed the chair for support. I could feel some of the paint scrape away as my hand brushed it and I prayed my mother wouldn't notice._

"_You little bitch." My dad cam swaggering into the kitchen, brandishing a beer bottle like a weapon. "I 'ad no money 'or my poker table the other night! Spent it all on your 'tupid medicine from your 'tupid cold! They were both shouting now and it seemed enough to drive me deaf._

"_YOUR NOTHING BUT A BURDEN!" My mother screamed, I ran out of the room sobbing madly, barely missing a beer bottle as it crashed beside me. I grabbed my coat, snagging it on the railing and ran out the door knowing my feet would carry me to Daniela's house._

Edward's face seemed to flit in shock and then anger. He must have been reading my mind, I thought darkly, lucky him.

"Dear it would mean so much to me if you would just come for a little while. I'm sure we'd find plenty to do, it's never quiet at our home." Esme's eyes were placating; something about them sent me into a guilt spiral.

I watched them carefully. Alice looked so hopeful; I couldn't bear to watch her expression fall. Rosalie looked indifferent but Emmett and Carlisle appeared excited. Jasper was still looking at me, seriously as if he knew what I was thinking. Edward on the other hand did, and grinned.

"For a few weeks." I said, much to the happiness of the others. I smiled, causing Emmett to go in a fit of 'she talks!' and 'she smiles!'.

For those few moments I felt like I belonged.

**Thanks for the…2 reviews. I'm hoping to get some more as I update!**

**-nUmERO1FAN, I was wondering when you'd review. Lucky I didn't decide to start looking for a new editor in chief, rofl joking.**

**-Iloverocks…OMFG THANK YOU! A mini-Stephenie Meyer, some people on fan fiction would kill you for saying that but I have to say that's the biggest compliment I've gotten so far. Just to clear things up, Edward is in that forest hunting. He probably left Bella at about 7:00pm that day, so that he could hunt, and he only was there at night so Bella wouldn't have noticed his absence. Bella and Edward are still together, thank god. Your obsession with my pathetic fan fic pressed me to start writing this chapter a few days before I would have and thanks for being number 2, to review!**


	4. An Akward Situation

**Chapter 4- **_An Awkward Situation_

I had thought my speed and agility had been amazing a few days ago. I was in total awe of the others now, even ashamed of myself.

They ran with astonishing speed-leaving me far behind most- and never seemed to move direction to avoid trees and rocks. Running was instinctual for me, but the Cullen's took it up to an art form.

As I jumped quickly to the right to avoid a tree, I felt like burning from embarrassment. I had leaped a good thirty yards from their original scents and they were sure to notice it. More and more I was beginning to doubt my decision to 'visit' them for a few weeks. My inexperience was sure to be an inconvenience at the least and a problem at worst.

I tried to push myself faster as I ran; I didn't seem to get tired but my body could not physically move any faster than I was already pushing it. It was discouraging to see even little Alice far ahead of me. Jasper seemed much faster, but he didn't stray far from Alice and he threw quick almost invisible looks behind him, at me. Almost like he was checking up on me.

_Because I'm a danger, and he knows it._

An unpredictable newborn, that was me. Did something in my actions and emotions presage some infantile danger to his family? And why would battle-scarred Jasper think differently? The silver, half moon crescents that adorned his face, his arms and legs proved he had his fair share of fighting, some of it must've been with newborns. As he turned around again his brow furrowed slightly, highlighting two scars over his left eye and almost making me gasp. Even scarred terribly, he was incredibly handsome.

I scolded myself for dwelling on him, and focused myself on running. Surprised that my thoughts had only taken up a sixteenth of a second, I took a deep, unnecessary breath to calm myself. Around these developed and beautiful vampire's, I felt adolescent and nervous. The thirst that had been at the back of my head reminded me that, that wasn't my only problem. I was thirsty, making me even more irritable.

My emotions ranged from terrified to nervous to miserable in the next few moments, probably alerting Jasper to something. Alice whispered quickly in his ear when he flinched and I pretended not to hear. There was an unmistakable whoosh of air through fabric and Alice was running right beside me, Jasper running inches closer than before. She smiled brightly, and I returned it with what was hopefully acceptance but felt more like a grimace. Jasper's face hardened into an unreadable mask.

Avoiding any chance of conversation, I stared straight ahead and made myself search for the others. Esme and Carlisle were running in the middle of the group, their eyes kept flashing to each other, sparkling with happiness and what looked like unspoken conversation. I felt better, knowing someone wasn't dwelling on the fact that I was with them. Jasper threw me another quick glance.

Emmett was a totally different story. He was not trying to hide the fact he kept looking at me, nor would he stop trying to get my attention. Ecstatic waves and smiles kept coming from his direction. Rosalie looked angry, but seemed to be pointedly ignoring me. Fine, I could deal with that.

Edward ran alone; so far ahead I could only glimpse his bronze hair in between the gaps of the trees, his eyes never straying from directly in front of him. He was in a rush to get home; to see _Bella_.

Pain sliced through me quickly and agonizingly. No one ever loved me as much as Edward loved Bella. Carlisle and Esme, Emmett and Rosalie, Alice and Jasper. They had something I secretly longed for, someone to love them, a family to care about. I was never going to fit in here, the unloved, complicated child who in my opinion seemed right out of a nightmare.

My thoughts continued as an unaccountable blur, ranging from the tree's, to the Cullen's and even memories from my forgotten past. Those flashed up unexpectedly in my thoughts, usually triggered by a certain word. It was like watching a movie through a foggy, watery screen. Everything was blurred and most of my memory I had to struggle to remember.

"_Nice clothes Rebecca. Where did you get them from, the dump?"  
Several girls giggled loudly at the unfunny joke. It still hurt though, their jabs and gossip. It hurt more to know that I would never be like them, happy and beautiful. The tall girl, dressed entirely in brand name clothing continued her rant. She was quite pretty; already boys stared and pointed at her. Like they never did to me.  
"-and I heard your family's going to get kicked out of their home. Homeless, disgusting. Better make sure you take care of these rags " she ran her hands on my coat sleeve, tugging hard and pulling one of the patches off "because your family won't have enough money to buy you new ones much longer." Another girl behind her whispered loudly enough to be heard "I bet she picks her nose" more jabs "look at all those zits!" Which one was that? Shania? Alexa? I felt the blind anger building up inside me. It wasn't my fault the family income went towards beer, cigarettes and who knows what else. I could no more buy new clothes than these girls could stand to get their make-up ruined. But oh, how much I longed to be them._

Music that was something I had liked in my human life. Too bad no one else had liked what I listen to, besides Daniela of course.  
I saw Edward's head turn slightly towards me, my step faltered. Alice slowed without saying anything. Jasper looked at me again, this time not looking as hostile as before, more like disbelief. He didn't look away for a full second.

"_Happy birthday Becca!" Daniela removed her hands from behind her back and held out a small gift wrapped in a mosaic of green paper. I smiled, just like every other year, Daniela had come through. _

_My parents birthday gifts had changed over the years; dolls and books when I was younger, and when they were sober enough, and yells and bits of expired chocolate (my mother worked at the grocery store when she was sober enough) as I got older. But Daniela… her gifts were clothes, and jewelry and trips to places I normally never would go. We went to Canada once and twice to the movies (she insisted on paying for the tickets and snacks) as well as small amusement parks and carnivals. She made my birthdays perfect._

"_You didn't have to." I said, delivering my lines perfectly. It was the same every year._

"_Nope" she said brightly "but I did anyway, now open it!"_

_She thrust the box into my hands. Quickly I opened it, Daniela has always been impatient. The wrapping fell off the present and into my lap, and I was fully able to see me gift.  
Inside was a silver iPod nano, the newer kind that only a couple kids I knew had. The packaging on it was had been reopened and taped back together but I didn't care. Slowly, as not to drop the iPod I put it on the ground beside and jumped up. Daniela's smile faltered then widened as I pulled her into a hug._

"_Thank you so so so much! I've never had anything so perfect, so expensive…I…I-"_

"_And here I was thinking you didn't like it" she tossed her dark hair back and her eyes glittered excitedly. "I opened it already, to download some of your songs off my computer, sorry about that, I just assumed since you didn't have a computer-"_

_I cut her off this time with another hug. The school bell rang, bringing me back to the playground. I had almost forgotten where I was, nothing held my attention except for my friend and her glittering gift beside me. I picked it up and popped an ear plug into one of each of our ears. We walked carefully to where most of our grade had lined up near the building. With a sad smile, Daniela detached herself from the electronic and waved as she skipped off to her line, leaving me alone in mine. Usually this made me feel sad, but today I was too transfixed by the small object in my hand._

_Switching the song and turning up the volume, I turned to face the hoard of students, only to swivel right into a very tall and very skinny girl. My iPod flew out of my hand and onto the ground. My heart leaping in fright I looked down to see it, surplus a small scratch but still intact._

"_I'm so sorry, I didn't see you." I said quickly, not wanting to attract attention._

_The girl (who I now recognized as Cassie, a total bitch and a half) smiled and glanced behind her to see two of her other friends grinning back. Reassured she had an audience she let one foot slide forward directly onto my IPod, crunching it into the ground. I bet over quickly to pick it up but she was faster and kicked it over to the school wall. I heard a loud 'crack'._

"_Sorry." She said grinning looking not at all apologetic as she strutted of after the students who were walking into the main building. The line began to move. I ran in the direction of her kick and picked up my iPod. The screen glass had cracked and a large dent was in the back. It wouldn't turn on. I blazed, furious. But I couldn't do anything (the other day was a big reminder, as was the large dark bruise under my eye) so I picked it up and walked into the school. Happy Birthday._

I was brought back to reality by a loud chirping voice. I was grateful to leave that memory alone.

"What are you thinking about?" Alice asked looking curious. "You've been…quiet. Aren't you a little confused?"

I waited before answering her. What a stupid question, of course I was confused. I could tell she had re-accessed her question and changed what she wanted to say before she said it. I felt a rush of gratitude 

peaked with a little bit of annoyance. Did she expect me to tell her everything about myself? That wasn't going to happen. I answered her in a short, clipped and abrupt tone.

"Just thinking of a few stray memories. As for the confusion, I can deal with it."

She stared up at me as we ran, looking for some trace of friendliness. There was none, and she looked away unhappily. Opps, I think she wanted to be friends.  
"Are you sure? It's a little diff-"

"I'm fine." My voice cracked a little which ended the conversation. Friendship was the last thing on my mind.

The trees thinned noticeably and soon I could smell some newer scents among the damp greenery and shrouded sky.

Chemicals, like the kind in paint. Wood, paneling like something in a house. Faint traces of sand in the glass? Sand, how did I know what that smelt like? How was I distinguishing all these new smells? I reacted rashly.

With barely a thought to anything else my body took over. Once minute I was galloping through the trees and next I was crouched on the forest floor, snarling under my breath. My head spun. Threading. Dyes. Metal. Denim. Bricks. Plastic. I couldn't make sense of the unknown. I had smelt these things in my human life, why did they seem painfully clear, jostling for place among one another. There was millions of individual thing, all with a specific scent and right now they were all parading in front of me. Confusion was evident.

Edward (who had probably heard my jumble of thoughts) turned around first, so fast I didn't really see him, more just hear the air near displaced. The sound made it all the more unbearable. I twitched to where he stood and growled. It surprised me, the ferocity of it, halting what might have been a possible attack. I scanned around me.

Jasper was crouched in front of Alice, looking at me very cautiously. He was shock still and barely breathing, though Alice was still smiling gently from around his arm. Emmett was tensed beside Rosalie, looking like he was debating on walking back to us. Everyone else had stopped running and was slowly moving backward. Carlisle was only one who looked completely composed. Edward (instead of stopping like the other) took a few steps forward. I was painfully aware of each brush of fabric against his body, the air rushing away as he walked. I wanted to hear nothing but it seemed I could hear _everything_. More scents. Magnets. Rubber. Drapes. Concrete. Insulation. Pop tarts? My breathing quickened

"Becca? Becca, relax. It's nothing; we're just nearing the house. You might have to get used to the new smells, hearing is easier to adjust to." Edward spoke calmly, but in the back of my mind I noticed how cautious and edgy he looked. He came a little closer. I jumped back, snarling before I could cover my mouth in surprise. Did I just _growl_ at Edward?

"Slowly Edward, slowly." Jasper seemed to be directly that at Edward, though his face never moved from mines. "She's surprised, just give her a second."

Fear. Anger, must attack, and must run. Instinct was flashing through my mind like wind through the trees. Logic seemed oddly absent. These people were offering me a place in their coven, why did I feel so ready to attack one of them.

Venom sizzled around my mouth as I breathed in again and I felt the expected burning. Blood, I needed _blood._ The forest zoomed in around me. A speck of dirt on that leaf, a small fruit fly taking flight, close-up of a squirrels bristling tail. My head was spinning, and I grew less aware of conscious thought. I bared my teeth savagely.

Suddenly my muscles relaxed ever so slightly and my mind whirled less into focus. I paid less attention to the sights and smells around me. I was causing a scene, I realized, how embarrassing. Immediately I stopped my instinctual fear. There was nothing to be afraid of, and my anger- it was pointless, I made it vanish. Suddenly, the only thing I felt like doing, was hiding under a rock, attack was out of the question.

My uneven breathing stopped completely and gingerly I stood up, hopefully a sign I was in control. Everyone seemed to relax at the exact same moment. Then Emmett started my way again, cracking a twig. The sound made me wince and my eyes flickered behind me, to the forest –it was a place to run. My body started telling me to run again. I was acutely aware of my left foot moving back.

"It will be more potent if there is contact Jasper." Carlisle said. I had no idea what he was talking about, but Jasper started walking to me.

He moved at human pace but he was close so it still took no longer than five or six seconds. He was very graceful and some of his muscles on his legs became very prominent as he moved. I noted he moved carefully, as to avoid any noise inducing sounds other than the flip of his honey hair in the breeze. Alice stepped lightly behind him quiet as you would expect a pixie to be.

Edward gave everyone else a look, and they busied themselves with running again, but much, much slower. Carlisle and Esme started a conversation, something very pointless and mildly distracting about flowerbeds.

Carefully, and making sure to show his intention clearly, Jasper reached one hand out towards my shoulder. My internal reaction was to flinch away, but Alice's kind smile reassured me and I stood still. Statue still.

His hand made contact with my shoulder, and I felt like jumping. Did he feel that spark? Could vampires still pass static electricity, surely they could, for me to feel something like that, in a single touch. Or maybe I was being foolish, and really Jasper had a second power. Was I in danger, what should I do?

Really after those last thoughts I had no time to panic or even consider defense. I understood what was happening, but I didn't care. I felt like I was floating, there, in the moment, but not quite. The scene I had just caused was no longer an embarrassment, it was completely understandable, and I didn't think 

twice about it. I was too calm. Something told me I _should_ be annoyed that my emotions were being manipulated but I couldn't summon up enough chagrin to actually be angry.

A few murmured words later and we were running the remaining distance. Jasper was keeping his hand on me, and I didn't mind the least. He was really quite warm, and it felt so natural, his hand on me. I wonder what it felt like to be in his arms, his embrace, his touch…maybe later I'll ask Alice…

We stopped in front of a river, about fifty yards wide that was surrounded by thin, largely spaced trees. Light filtered in everywhere letting me glimpse sparkles on my skin once more. I moved slightly, this way and that, to catch myself at just the right angles, making me sparkle. Jasper's mouth twitched, very slightly before he could compose it again, as he saw my fascination.

The other stopped barely long enough to make sure we (probably just me) were with them before they took a few steps back and jumped the river.

Any sort of jumping scared me, height, terrified me. A combination of both made me want to tunnel under the river and wait till all the water dried up. But my body didn't feel scared, more thrilled, at the idea of the speed and the adrenaline. I watched as Alice –who went last besides Jasper and I- arched herself across the river and landed almost soundlessly across from me, on the opposite side of the water.

"Your turn!" She chirped.

Now I was sure Jasper was going to let go now to jump, but his hand stayed firmly on mine. I turned my face anxiously toward him, though I was still under the influence of his power, I was beginning to get a little nervous.

"How exactly do…I don't know how…" I stuttered. Preferably I would want to ask Edward or maybe Alice, but seeing as they were across the river, it seemed politer to ask Jasper.

He looked at me evenly, most likely getting the gist of my question.

"It's easy Becca . Just take the first few steps back, and run forward like you usually would. You'll land perfectly, and at the worst just a little loudly."

I breathed once, his cool logic made sense. And the way his voice said my name…

_A few steps back…_

And suddenly I was about two feet behind where I'd been moments ago. Jasper shadowed me at my side.

_Run forward…_

Nothing immediately happened, but as I stood there, slowly I could feel it; a raw, astonishing strength pulsing in my limbs. In that split second, I ran for the river in one bound and launched myself in the air.

I was only airborne for about a quarter of a second but that was all it took for me to absorb the details. Jasper was the details. His hand was precariously on the small on my back. It was probably too difficult to keep it on my shoulder during the jump, but I was thrilled by his gesture. As stealthy as possible I glanced to my right, this time _I_ was checking up on _him_. His inhuman muscles were tensed and I had this unexplainable urge that not even I could explain. His eyes were focused on the ground; probably judging the impact like I should have been, but it seemed to be a task for him, as if he wanted to look somewhere else.

_Look at me_ I thought, before we hit the ground.

Maybe the unexpected boom I made, as my body connected with the ground was because of my strength, that I could feel pulsing through me right now. Or maybe it was the surprise of hearing me openly think how much I had wanted Jasper in that moment, and not being able to properly stop myself from impact.

Quickly there was a slight absence to the weight on my shoulder and suddenly everything seemed back into focus and my emotions went everywhere. _ASK ALICE? ABOUT JASPER?_ Was I crazy? Did I have a death wish? They were _together_ I told myself strictly, while discreetly inching farther from the blonde-haired beauty.

"Opps." I said, as to disguise my thoughts even though none of them could have possibly…

_EDWARD!_

I watched Edward carefully, as the Cullen's shared some laughter at my adolescent mistake. He didn't look angry, or worried, or confused like he should've been, after hearing thoughts about his brother like that. Wouldn't he have been mad on Alice's part?

Alice looked at Jasper searchingly, probably wondering why he had taken his hand off me at such a crucial moment, (being so close to the house was only going to make me much worse) but he was staring at me, searching and for the first time he seemed not cautious or angry, merely wondering. I had no more time to watch him; I concentrated very carefully on not freaking out, as I looked up at the house.

I pinpointed the house, exactly where it stood, even before I saw it. I was experimenting, carefully with my sense as not to overreact. It seemed to be working. I was able to keep my immediate focus with the scents, nothing to immediate since I was much more prepared.

From what I could see at the back of the house, it was old. Maybe ninety decades old, give or take a few. Painted a white, which was fading quickly, it was completely rectangular and about three stories tall. The outside of the entire house was framed entirely by trees, cedar's at the front from what I could scent and the sides of the house were covered in a meadow grass that I was sure continued to the front. It seemed the Cullen's had kept most of the original structure with minimal restoration to the windows and possibly the door. I wasn't sure as to the fact architecture was never a strong point for me. One wall was completely replaced with a very sturdy and shiny looking glass, throwing lots of light into the house.

"This is our house." Carlisle said, unexpectedly formal. "We're farther out in these trees and away from the closest town, Forks. Not many humans stray close to here though there is a road not too far. We have quite a few rooms, you're welcome to any that are empty."

I relaxed slightly, knowing I wouldn't have to share a room. Not that I would use it much, none of us slept.

Alice and Esme were staring meaningfully at Carlisle, as if he had left out some vital piece of information.

He sighed dramatically before he continued "Alice and Esme have designed a certain room. If it is to your liking your welcome to have it-"

"And the closet, full of clothes. It looks like you'll need some new ones too, we should head there first!" Alice artfully interrupted. I had no intention of changing but as I stared down at myself reflex I felt like melting into a puddle when I realized my clothes covered barely anything, I even had an indecent hole in the material just below my neck. Most of the fabric was crusted in blood as well, crunching and breaking off minuscule pieces as I moved and reminding me that the burning in my throat was getting more urgent.

"Little too much showing squirt." Emmett said through a few laughs.

I looked emphatically at Alice who smiled and ran ahead of me around to the front. I followed, making sure to turn my body slightly as to make sure no one could see the ripped material that barely covered my backside.

Emmett laughed more, proving that I wasn't doing a very good job.


End file.
